Part 4: Amity Between Husband and Wife

Manu strongly believes that mutual co-operation and sweet relation between husband and wife is the important ground for a successful conjugal life. According to him a man is incomplete without his wife.^[1] In the Harṣacarita, Bāṇa affirms that wives got much care and attention from her husbands. Bāṇabhaṭṭa has described about an ideal relationship between a husband and a wife e.g., between king Prabhākaravardhana and queen Yaśomatī. The king loved his wife very much. One night, in the time of her pregnancy, queen Yaśomatī had seen a dream and she jumped away from her bed weeping; and thereafter the king repeatedly asked her about the dream and consoled.^[2]

Again, we have seen that the husband used to discuss all family problems and took the decisions^[3] along with his wife. In case of princess Rājyaśrī’s marriage, king Prabhākaravardhana asked and discussed with queen Yaśomatī and took her views as to what he should do.^[4] Similarly, the wives, too, respected their husbands very much. When the king Prabhākaravardhana was on his death-bed, his wife queen Yaśomatī had been taking good care of him day and night, and also she did not leave her husband only in the supervision of her servants.^[5]

A contended and intelligent woman always supports her husband to maintain economic equilibrium in the household at times of calamities. The Dharmaśāstras have given the position of the Goddess of fortune to the wife. Thus, there was no difference between the housewife and the laksmī. Childbearing, showing hospitality towards guests, taking care of the members of the family-these were the activities entitled to a housewife.^[6]

Queen Yaśomatī was not only the centre of life of the king Prabhākaravardhana but the source of life for his family and was liberal to his servants etc. so it is described about her—

tasya ca ….sphurattaralatārakā rohiṇīva kalāvataḥ,…..sarvajanajananī buddhiriva prajāpateḥ,..cakravākamayīva patipremṇi,….vasudhārāmayīva prasādeṣu,….madhumayīva sambhāṣaṇeṣu,…vṛṣṭimayīva bhṛtyeṣu,….vetasamayīva guruṣu,...yaśomatī nāma mahādevī…….bhūmirabhūt.^[7]

Kālidāsa also has said about the duty of a woman in his Abhijñānam Śakuntalam as follows—

śuśrūṣasva gurunkuru priyasakhīvṛttiṃ sapatnījane bhartuviprakṛatāpi roṣaṇatayā mā sma pratīpaṃ gamaḥ |
bhūyiṣṭaṃ bhava dakṣiṇā parijane bhāgyeṣvanutsekinī yāntyevaṃ gṛhiṇīpadaṃ yuvatayo bāmāḥ kulasyādhayaḥ ||^[8]

Tolerance was respected by the ladies at that time. When the sage Durvāsā had given the curse to Devī Sarasvatī, the daughter of Brahmā, her best friend Sāvitrī went to recurse him. But Devī Sarasvatī had asked her to forgive him.^[9] It is proved therefore that the women were very tolerant at that time.

Again, the women would not let her to fly in air when she enjoyed great and good fortune in the society of 7^th century A.D. In her dress, she practiced moderation, when going out on festive occasions she wore a few ornaments and only decent garments of fine and soft texture, used perfumes and ointments very moderately and adorned herself only with white flowers. For example, in princess Rājyaśrī’s marriage, all the wives of the ministers (sāmantas) came to the palace joyfully and decently.^[10]

Footnotes and references:

[1]:

Manusaṃhitā, IX.45

[2]:

[a] devi, na bhetavyam, na bhetavyam’ ityabhidadhāno vegenotpapāt, Harṣacarita,IV.p.58 [b] yaśomatyapi tutoṣa tena patyurbhāṣitena, Ibid.,IV.p.59

[3]:

…yadi bhavatyā api matiranumanyate tatastasmai dātumicchāmi, Ibid.,IV.p.68

[4]:

devi, taruṇībhūtā vatsā rājyaśrīḥ.….yathā yathā samāpatanti dūtā varāṇāṃ varākī ….praviśati me hṛdayam, kiṃ kriyate.……tathāpi...grahavarmā nāma grahapatiriva… prārthayate. yadi bhavatyā api matiranumanyate tatatastasmai dātumicchāmi, Ibid.,IV.p.68

[5]:

[a] cakravākamayīva patipremṇi…….., Ibid.,IV.p.57 [b]…vyāharantyā devyā yaśomatyā śirasi vakṣasi ca spṛśyamānaṃ pitaramadrākṣīt, Ibid.,V.p.78

[6]:

Manusaṃhitā, IX.27

[7]:

Harṣacarita,IV.p.57-58

[8]:

Arthaśāstra,IV.17

[9]:

sakhi, saṃhara roṣam. asaṃskṛtāmatayo’pi jātyeiva dvijanmāno mānanīyaḥ, ityabhidadhānā sarasvateiva nyavārayat, Harṣacarita,I.p.4

[10]:

āsūryodayācca praviṣṭābhiḥ satībhiḥ subhaghābhiḥ……………………………..
….suveśābhiravidhavābhiḥ….samantātsāmantasīmantinībhirvyāptam…, Ibid.,IV.p.69