Chapter 6 - No Courage To See Things As They Are

TO SEE things as they truly are is the very accomplished task of wisdom. Once we see things as they are, we will have accepted the world as it is, and not create any more suffering. We shall no longer wish the world to be other than it is. We shall no longer create conflict.

However, to see things as they actually are in practice is something of an uphill task. In meditation, we discover that we are not ready to accept something as it truly is even if it presents itself to us. For instance, when discovering the mind wandering we can not accept it. Instead of contemplating and accepting it, we become impatient and disappointed. Unconsciously and at times consciously we deny it. We are not only reacting to the wandering mind but also rejecting it at the same time. This is the case when observing tension and numbness, to give you a couple of examples.

When tension presents itself to our senses, what we normally do is shake our shoulders to get rid of it. This happens because we do not have courage to objectively look at it. We are trying to run away from it. Without accepting it, we can not learn anything from it.

We can stand tension physically but it is very hard to do so mentally. You can sit and talk to your friend without much difficulty for one hour but to meditate for one hour is hard for many. Because in meditation, you experience tension in the mind whereas you pay no attention to it at all while talking to your friend. You are just experiencing it physically not in the mind. As you open your eyes, tension seems to disappear immediately because you no longer experience it with your mind. Tension, in reality, is not taken away by just opening your eyes. Physically you continue to experience it.

Mindfulness is to build up courage to accept things such as tension in our body They are a part of our life and there is no way we can get rid of them altogether. Life has to be lived in reality, not in abstract thinking. We have to adjust ourselves to the reality of the world in order to enjoy life.

Pain, tension, disappointment etc. are the realities of the world. We have to adjust ourselves to their existence. However, this can happen only when wisdom is present. This wisdom is acquired from directly experiencing these realities.

A new born baby finds it too hard to accept the harsh touch of a nurses hands. The baby has been literally snapped out of the secure environment of the mothers womb and is exposed suddenly to the unfamiliar, the perils of new world. The wind outside his mothers womb is so cruel for the very tender skin of the baby. The wash and the towel do not seem very kind. It is too much for the baby to bear. He cries immediately and continuously However, there is not much that the nurse can do to help relieve the baby from those pains caused by her hands, seemingly gentle, yet unbearably rough for the baby. The mother cannot ease those pains either. The baby has to adjust himself to the hard reality of life outside his mothers womb. He matures as he accepts reality. He stops crying perhaps in less than an hour. We have to adjust to the reality of life by accepting it and maturing ourselves by directly experiencing it. We have to open, not close ourselves to it.

In daily life, stress and frustration at work are real. To see things turning out in a way other than the way we expect, unfulfilled desire and disappointment are the realities we face day in and day out. They are there as a part of life. They demand acknowledgment and comprehension through mindfulness. As we accept them by paying bare attention, they cease to progress to create more suffering in our mind. This is the way to create peace.

There are many different degrees of seeing something as it really is. At one stage, an awareness of its existence means seeing it as it is. Yet in another, noting the moment it vanishes becomes wisdom. Still further, seeing the arising of the object (such as wandering mind, frustration and disappointment) is considered wisdom. Mindfulness is stronger at this point. At a more advanced level, wisdom requires seeing the thing as a part of a process, in other words, seeing its immediate cause. This leads to the detached mind. As the mind becomes detached from an object, it greatly reduces reacting, which is effectively the creation of suffering.

At work, we know that for one reason or another some people are easily agitated. That is a reality at that time. Nevertheless, we just cannot accept it. Consequently, we become agitated. We know by experience that some one is arrogant, which is a reality. Nevertheless, we cannot take him as he is. We want him to behave the way we want. Thus we create suffering for ourselves. We have not the courage to accept him as he is. In brief, we fail to take the real world as it is. Instead, we keep living in a delusive world of our own making. Mindfulness of things as they are will give rise to this badly needed courage.